Last night (sexpot laser printers breaking and entering kinda)

I ended up on the fire escape of Skylab chain smoking bad Japanese Virginia Slims and drank two beers and an entire bottle of shitty Gato merlot and then broke into my own pool after hours with the keyboardist of the band that had played. and then we cuddled and fucked and cuddled and I was weirdly dom to him and pushed him around until he cried and came hard. at 1:16 am as we sat on the carpet and I covered my breasts and he set up my new laser printer. and then we fell asleep and fucked again and now my sheets are in the washer but not soaking or spinning because they smell exactly as they should. 

the worst part about all of this is that his name is ____ and with the exception of of one brief time with an ex, I have exclusively fucked _____s this summer. 
Like, many.  CAN I GET A NEW NAME PLEASE? THIS IS GETTING CONFUSING.

AHHHHHHHH

Appearance Dysfunction and Sexual Inclination

I feel the most disconnected from myself. I have small breasts and short hair, the look of androdgny I once admired but now displaces me within myself. I feel more inclined than ever to hide within my femeninity and let the world guide me along, but my appearance is still that of a little boy and I find it oddly embarassing and unsettling. I don’t feel any moods of arousal or sexiness. I just want to hide my breasts and my eyes from men and coccoon until my hair grows and my body evens out. There are men whom I love who want me just the same. But I feel less than complete for them and for me. I feel sad and ashamed to think this way.

My Nipples Look Like World War Z - I Lifted The Skin, And Other Stories

I am so sorry for whomever comes across this because it will probably destroy your ideas of femininity and the nubile bodies of young women.

Soooo three days ago I thought it would be a fantastic idea to wax my entire body. The entire thing. And because I always try things I find on the internet, I waxed my boobs. Because it’s funny and makes a good party story for my friends. I’ve blogged about my Jewish hairiness before. It’s not sexy, but I’ve come to terms with it through comedy, which I’ve heard is also a remedy for depression, loneliness and solitude. Anyway, they weren’t particularly furry and I thought it would be okay. 

Of course I lifted the skin on my nipples. Which is a term I learned long ago in self-taught waxing school with a friend, and never experienced until now. Because it’s been forever since I’ve done this thing and my hands were shaky because I’m not eating.

And now my nips look like a nasty red, ingrown, rashy reptile. But I still think it’s hilarious because who the fuck cares and I have other things to worry about. But it’s still awkward. But who the fuck cares. But still awkward.


HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA


#oops