My Nipples Look Like World War Z - I Lifted The Skin, And Other Stories

I am so sorry for whomever comes across this because it will probably destroy your ideas of femininity and the nubile bodies of young women.

Soooo three days ago I thought it would be a fantastic idea to wax my entire body. The entire thing. And because I always try things I find on the internet, I waxed my boobs. Because it’s funny and makes a good party story for my friends. I’ve blogged about my Jewish hairiness before. It’s not sexy, but I’ve come to terms with it through comedy, which I’ve heard is also a remedy for depression, loneliness and solitude. Anyway, they weren’t particularly furry and I thought it would be okay. 

Of course I lifted the skin on my nipples. Which is a term I learned long ago in self-taught waxing school with a friend, and never experienced until now. Because it’s been forever since I’ve done this thing and my hands were shaky because I’m not eating.

And now my nips look like a nasty red, ingrown, rashy reptile. But I still think it’s hilarious because who the fuck cares and I have other things to worry about. But it’s still awkward. But who the fuck cares. But still awkward.


HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA


#oops

today I had sex for money and it was awesome.

in other news
nothing.